DES MOINES – Tommy from Des Moines expressed his discontent that he was not interviewed for the Iowa offensive coordinator position recently filled by Greg Davis.
Tommy, a football expert according to himself, made his comments on the “Hawk Talk with Fran McCaffery” program earlier this evening. The program originates from Carlos O’Kelly’s Mexican Restaurant on Gilbert Street in Iowa City.
“Dolh, I eally ad ahout ih,” said Tommy, who made his comments to Gary Dolphin prior to McCaffery’s arrival. “Ey in’t e’en all ee”
“They didn’t call you?” asked Dolphin, trying to understand Tommy’s words, which are hampered due to his missing an inch-and-a-half of his tongue. “Who is ‘they’?”
“Oah Erehs,” replied Tommy.
“Coach Ferentz?” again asked Dolphin, who was becoming visibly frustrated with Tommy’s call. “Why would Coach Ferentz contact you?”
“I ih im all inds uh ah ice ery eek,” replied Tommy.
“You give him advice every week, Tommy, but you really think you have what it take to be an offensive coordinator at a Big Ten university?”
Tommy began to reply, but a sound effect initiated by Learfield Sports, who produces the radio program, gave the appearance of static interference with Tommy’s call.
“Well, we seem to have lost Tommy,” said Dolphin. “Myrt from Keokuk, what’s on your mind?”