DUBUQUE, Iowa – Dolores Fairfax is looking forward to the Iowa Hawkeyes’ first visit to TCF Bank Stadium on the campus of the University of Minnesota. In fact, she has purchased lingerie to wear under her cold weather gear to the game in hopes of being the first Iowa fan to christen the bathroom at the stadium.
“When I read that story a couple years ago about the chick and the dude who hooked up at the dome, I thought it sounded like an extremely sexy idea,” Fairfax said. “I mean, I love the Hawkeyes and I love sex. Why not combine the two?”
Fairfax said the thought has never crossed her mind to hook up with someone in the bathroom at Kinnick Stadium. “Nah, there’s too much security there,” she said. “Plus, the little jail thingy at Kinnick would be kind of embarrassing.”
Fairfax will be attending the game alone, hoping to scalp a cheap ticket. Then, she said, the hunt will begin.
“I will be looking for a young guy to do me in the bathroom,” she said. “It’s that simple. I mean, I’m young, attractive, and in my prime.”
A 30-year-old mother of one (who is currently in the custody of the Iowa Department of Human Services), Fairfax said she will “try anything but, well, you know.”