IOWA CITY – Bud Swearingen, a ten-year Iowa football season ticketholder, told his neighbor, Mikey Jacobson, “There’s no bad seat in Kinnick.” The two men, who reside in Riverside, Iowa, are both lifelong Hawkeye fans. Swearingen, whose seats are in the northeast corner of the end zone, was arguing with …
Typo Leaves Fans Mistakenly Ancicipating First Annual “Herpes” Game in Lincoln
LINCOLN, Nebraska – A typo in a press release has left several Nebraska students mistakenly looking forward to the first annual “Herpes Game” on Black Friday. The typo, which appeared on a press release issued by the University of Nebraska announcing the annual football contest between the Nebraska Cornhuskers and …
Drum Major’s Arrest forces UI Marching Band to Burn Redshirt on Back-up Drum Major
IOWA CITY – UI Marching Band Director Kelvin Castens said he will be forced to burn a redshirt tomorrow following the arrest of Drum Major Joe Piasecki earlier this morning. Piasecki, 23, was stopped early this morning by UI Police at the intersection of Burlington and Gilbert Streets in Downtown …
ULM Coach Shocked To Learn Iowa Is Next On Schedule
MONROE, Louisiana – The University of Louisiana – Monroe (ULM) head football coach, Barry Todd, received a surprise this week when he visited a local gas station – his team was headed to Iowa City, Iowa in two days to take on the Iowa Hawkeyes. “I looked on the wall …
Iowa State Applies for Unpaid Internship with Big East Conference
PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island – Officials at the Big East office confirmed earlier today that Iowa State University has applied for an unpaid internship there. The application, which arrived in this morning’s mail, was unsolicited and an office secretary claims it is the first time the conference has ever received such …
Woodbury: Playing for Iowa To Fulfill Lifelong Dream of Playing in NIT
SIOUX CITY, Iowa – While growing up Adam Woodbury had a few dreams he hoped would come true: winning a state basketball championship, being drafted in the NBA, and playing in the National Invitation Tournament (NIT). It seems as though at least one of those will now come true. “Playing …
Iowa’s ISU/UNI Film Study: Only Cell Phone Videos Available
IOWA CITY, Iowa – Normally when preparing to play a BCS opponent, Iowa football coach Kirk Ferentz has a sophisticated video system set up in order to view the opponent’s last game. This week was different. “Those assholes weren’t on TV last week and their Internet thing got fucked up …
Iowa State AD Checking eConferenceHarmony.com to find School a New Conference
AMES, Iowa – Iowa State Athletics Director Jamie Pollard has been checking online sites to find his school a new athletics conference. With the break-up of the Big Twelve looming large, Pollard says he has completed an online profile at a handful of online sites and is trying to find …
Absence of ‘First Down Guy’ Leaves Kinnick’s Section 103 Dazed and Confused
IOWA CITY – Despite the heavy rains at Kinnick Stadium last Saturday, Hawkeye fans in Section 103 were forced to deal with another tough situation: the absence of that section’s First Down Guy. “I can’t remember him ever missing a game,” said Todd Harstad, a season ticket holder from Ottumwa, …
Tennessee Tech Gay Gets Married While In Iowa
IOWA CITY, Iowa – Tennessee Tech Running Back, Dontey Gay, said he always wanted to get married; however, he never could in his native Kentucky or Tennessee because the law would not allow it. When he learned that the Golden Eagles would be traveling to Iowa to take on the …










